First Blog Post (Would Be a Misleading Title)

That title sounds like the single off a Fall Out Boy album, and I'm only partially sorry for that. So for anyone who's interested in my casual trainwreck of a life, I am starting a blog and this is my first post. I guess I should clarify that this is not my first blog post of life, just on this blog. I am not new to blogging. I have a very extensive tumblr archive, the content of which is not a hundred percent conducive to maintaining my relationships with people I communicate with via social media (by that I mean I post a lot of gifs from gory exploitation films and John Waters classics, bad TV, stripper fashion, and high res photos of pizza, among other weird stuff I find cool) SO I think this would be a better way to share what's going on in my life. Oh, I also had a Livejournal once, add that to my resume.

I made this blog because I like to write about things, if you've known me for more than five minutes then you might know that, but you've probably never read most of the shit I've written because I am incredibly self-conscious and shy. For the record, that's probably also why most people think I'm a rude bitch when they meet me, but I promise that's the real reason why, because I have no idea how to verbally express words. They also probably think I'm borderline retarded, which might be marginally true, but I digress.

Anyway, I don't let people read much of what I've written for that reason (shy; not retarded), and I've turned down multiple people's offers to get anything published (well, that's partially because one piece was about someone I had a restraining order against once and I'm scared of them), so much of my writing hasn't been aired out. ANYWAY, point being, this blog is to try to change that. Additional reasons include, but are not limited to:

1. I read Ashlee's blog (which is awesome) every time she posts and I thought to myself "well Maria if one person you know can maintain a great blog for more than a month, so can you"
2. It gives me an opportunity to make lists.
3. I experience a Kanye West-level narcissism
4. A lot of people have told me that my posts on Facebook are, in their words, "ridiculous," "funny," "insane," "my favorite thing to see when I first get online in the morning," "completely manic," etc, so I thought I would make posts that are longer and more in depth to express more fully how confused I am by this gay earth because you so much enjoy it
5. I have a lot of things to say that I think are important, also I have a lot of questions.
6. I don't do anything besides work so I think it would be beneficial to produce something besides green paper.
7. I gotta bitch about Rich White Ladies somewhere.

I hope that something good comes from this blog and I hope I can stick with it. Also, I hope that you read it. If you've read this far, you're incredible; shit, you might be a wizard. I applaud you and implore you to continue following my blog posts because they'll probably be okay, maybe, I guess. I originally made a whole post about how I want to facilitate real change in the world but I can't at this point in my life because I am just a Maria and broke as shit right now, but it was pretty depressing so I deleted it. Maybe I'll publish it later, who knows. Most of it was about how much I despise privatization of government services so I guarantee you are better off with this brain fart of an entry. 

That's it, that's the post.